It's not what I have[.] It's what I have to give. A blog about resources--gaining, giving, and sharing.

23 August 2006

Cried and Cried

3:38 PM Posted by steve flores 1 comment

I love the Bible. It seems to be new no matter how many times I read a certain passage. I can’t seem to leave 1 Samuel 1: 1-19, over and over I read. I guess I’m just awestruck at how many different things are going on in these sentences. From heart ache, to isolation, ostracized, sacrifice, desperation, trust, competition, complete ugliness, (need I go on—just read it!).

This part stuck out the most to me today, in verse 10, taken out of the Message Bible: “Crushed in soul, Hannah prayed to God and cried and cried—inconsolably.”

Here’s a woman who cannot conceive a child—we don’t know why. And because she can’t, she’s given special treatment by her husband, berated by another woman, and probably battling the low self-esteem.

Hannah’s probably at her lowest point in this story, when her husband does what any guy would do at that moment, in verse 8, he tries to fix it. He makes her feel like she has it all as long as she has him! What an idiot! (When are we, husbands, going to stop thinking we have all the answers?)

No solace is found in her husbands words. No solace is found in the generosity from her husband. She wants a child. She wants the deep touch of comfort. She wants to be consoled. What does she do? She goes to the Father.

She doesn’t look for a self-help book about ways to over come barrenness. She doesn’t gather a group of friends to help her drink away her problems. She doesn’t neglect the true feelings of her heart and try to keep busy with activity. No. She prayed and cried and cried to God.

Lord, today I acknowledge my stubbornness to solve my problems on my own. I am not the fount of all knowledge. My pride blocks me from fully experiencing the correct course of action for my life. What is not needed is my finite mind to rationalize the right answers. What is not needed is another book to read or Dr. Phil and Oprah telling me how to better my life. What is needed is for me to humble myself, pray to you and cry and cry—what You desire is my desperation. You need to see me dependent on You not myself.