It's not what I have[.] It's what I have to give. A blog about resources--gaining, giving, and sharing.

17 November 2006

God + Me = Intimacy (Psalm 125) pt. 3

8:05 AM Posted by steve flores 1 comment
Part Three - 1 and 2 are below

As the next couple of days passed in Israel, there were much of the same, constant whispered prayers to my Father, prayers about protection, deeper level of intimacy, my wife, for you, this wonderful church, my friends, my life to be a reflection of God’s great love, etc. I found that the dialogue, between me and the Creator, became a comfortable conversation, not a normal squeezed into a “quiet" time-frame, but a whole day of worship. I was moving forward, closer, more like an intimate walk in the park rather than a sprint on the track to catch up to where God was. God hadn’t moved. I did constantly, but this trip placed my heart back on His path. Back in America, my normal routine, daily at 8:30 am or 2:30 pm for about 30 minutes, it was as if I was saying,

“Ok God, here I am. Let’s talk, but after this, don’t bother me.”

No wonder, I longed for intimacy, because I didn’t have it! I just had bits and pieces of which drove my spirit crazy and made my heart frustrated. As Wednesday was drawing to a close and as I packed my clothes, readying myself for the long plane ride back, I thanked God for the valuable lesson on intimacy. I opened my Bible and saw something new from the verse that God planted in my heart like a seed which grew the entire week. I had glossed over it before, because I was only trying to comfort my fear. So verses like,

“Those who trust in the Lord are as secure as Mount Zion,”
“the Lord surrounds and protects his people, both now and forever,”
“do good to those who are good,”
“let Israel have quietness and peace,”

were great scriptures to hold onto throughout my day when fear gripped my heart. But I saw it this time; the important one God was trying to get me to see, the second half of verse four,

“whose hearts are in tune with you.”

Wednesday night He got my attention to the lesson He’d been trying to teach me since October 1, when Safia Mirza came. I had this picture of something out of tune and it didn’t sound appealing. When I play my bass guitar, I have to tune it. Depending on how long it’s been since I’ve picked it up and played it, to tune it, I have to wind the knobs to get the strings to tighten or loosen. Almost daily I have to listen to the pitch of the strings as I pluck them to make sure it is in tune, if not the sound is awful. The more I have it close to me, using it, playing it, the more apt I am to make sure it is in tune. Lately, it just sits in the corner of my office, collecting dust, and every once in a while I’ll pick it up to play it. The more dormant it is the more out of tune it is and mine, it’s really out of tune! It’s been months since I’ve played it. I guess it could be said the same of me. Before Israel, I’ve spent time with the Creator, but my time with Him was within a time frame—my time frame. It was like a counseling appointment, a 30-45 minute window. After the time was done, I lived throughout the day independently on what I’ve learned from the time I’ve spent. That’s not intimacy. I went to sleep that night with my eyes wide open in my spirit. This week I felt closer than I ever had and it felt good. There was this conflict going on in my spirit between conviction and gratitude. Interesetingly enough, it felt pretty good. It took fear for me to be drawn closer to the Master.

To be continued....tomorrow