It's not what I have[.] It's what I have to give. A blog about resources--gaining, giving, and sharing.

13 June 2008

Get Real

12:45 PM Posted by steve flores 2 comments
I had lunch with a friend some time back; it went very well. We got caught up on life and all the other formalities one goes through when you haven’t talked in a long time. Then the meat of the conversation happens – I don’t know what’s going to come out in those moments, but I love it. I love real conversation, filled with heart and genuineness – no fronts.

My friend recently started attending church regularly. He had been gone for sometime, but now he's back. So I had to ask, “This question is going to sound weird, it’s not that I don’t enjoy seeing you around, but what made you decide to come back?”

His answer really cemented the scripture found in Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” He hadn’t felt peace in some time, but now he’s beginning to feel some peace. Real peace, not substitute peace (external stuff).

I asked, “Did you ever feel like you were living right? When you decided to walk your own way, were you convinced it was right?”

He responded, “I always knew I was wrong. It was just blatant rebellion. I just wanted to do my thing. Plus, I see some of my friends going down deeper into the wrong path and I realized I didn’t have the lifestyle or the character to back up my advice.”

It was a good lunch. I learned so much about my impatience and God's grace. Probably about two years ago at a lunch, with the same person, yet a different location, convincingly he told me he felt good about life. I know it’s impossible to feel “good” when you know you’re doing “wrong”. The deception rots away your own character – you don’t know who you are anymore. The battle inside is World War Three – who you want to be vs. who you've become. You know this; you want to be real again! You're really not certain if what your feeling is real based on the consequence of your actions or what you feel deep inside about the decision you need to make, realizing you might lose what is really, currently around you. You’re tired of convincing yourself “this (the way you feel now)” is how life should be. Then you remember the words you’ve been told all your life, the way you were “trained” and think, 'I remember where peace comes from, it’s when my life was in order and when I was obedient to Christ.'

I know, because that person across the table was me. Well not really me, but I lived like that and was miserable. It was as if I was having lunch with old me.
I remember the moment I said, “I’m done. I’m ready to be real.” Thank God for mercy.