It's not what I have[.] It's what I have to give. A blog about resources--gaining, giving, and sharing.

31 July 2009

Change Coming

9:59 AM Posted by steve flores 6 comments
Wow! Has it really been this long since I’ve blogged?? I can’t say I’m back in the groove, but I have thoughts swirling in mind. So, I’ve decided to share them, because if not, I’ll be thinking about them all day.

More than likely, this is the last Friday as just Nat and me. Next Friday, our little daughter, Dassah (pronounced like “Nasa” but with a D at the beginning) will join us in the real world. We’ve already heard countless people talk about how our lives are going to change. We’ve even had people ask us if we’re ready. How do you answer that question? Because, in the same breath, people will also say, everybody’s child is different. So my admission of ready, assumes I’m ready for a child described to me who’s someone else’s, not my own, who may very well be different than that of whose I was described, not mine. I’m so confused…

Needless to say, I’ve got a song stuck in my head by Lisa Gungor, “Change Coming”. You’ve got to click on the link and listen to the song. It should be the first song playing from the site. If not, search for it. As a matter of fact, open up another tab. Go to Lisa Gungor’s site and play her music in the background while you finish reading this blog. (Sorry for being so demanding, just creating a mood)

But I do, sense a change coming – a change in sleeping habits, schedules, time, priorities, groceries, budget, date nights, etc, etc. But I’m also changing, not just my surroundings. She hasn’t even arrived yet and I’ve already sensed the change personally, deeply. So to the question, “Are you ready,” I answer, “I don’t know.” But somehow, that seems sufficient to me. If I answered an emphatic, “YES,” would I be believed? Probably not, I’d be laughed at for my naivety. “I don’t know” really teaches me dependence on God, and really, I want God’s wisdom on raising our child. I don’t know all the answers. I don’t know if these diapers will give her a rash. I don’t know how to operate on her sleep schedule. I don’t know if we’re ever going to use her playpen or every one of her 5 diaper bags. I don’t know how to care for an infant. I, honestly, don’t. But “I’m ready” to try.

I’m not “ready”, but I’m ready to find out how not ready I am. How can I really be ready for someone so distinctly different and uniquely created? Have we prepared? Absolutely, but I don’t think we’re “ready”. We’re excited about the opportunity to be parents to a wonderful, God-created, little girl who has already captured our hearts. I feel change coming…