It's not what I have[.] It's what I have to give. A blog about resources--gaining, giving, and sharing.

01 January 2011

Knock, Knock - pt. 2

8:32 AM Posted by steve flores , No comments
Before reading this post, please read the previous one first. Here’s what immediately popped into my mind.

I wonder how amazing it must be, to God, for us call on His name first thing in the morning.  I know how it feels to me and it feels incredible to be desired, longed for, and wanted.  Dassah anticipates that willing, intimate embrace that I’m ready to give.  What she doesn’t know is, I love that encounter more than she does.  I actually look forward to it.  I’m certain God feels the same way.  Psalm 139 communicates the special relationship God has with us – a close, intimate Father knowing us, thinking about us, and meeting with us.

Then, there are the moments when the door doesn’t open, immediately.  And, if I put myself in Dassah’s shoes, I’m disappointed.  In those moments I feel lonely, where desperate cries seem to go unanswered and an intimate embrace escapes me.  It’s hard to trust that God is listening in those moments, but in my experience with Dassah, I imagine God is probably more than listening, but wanting to open that door.  He also knows what will transpire when He does.  But, against my better judgment, He doesn’t and it’s frustrating.  What this experience with my daughter has taught me is perspective.  God knows what I need, when I need it, even when I think differently.  I love my daughter, words cannot convey the love I have for her, but I love her enough to keep the door closed at times.