It's not what I have[.] It's what I have to give. A blog about resources--gaining, giving, and sharing.

06 June 2011

Grateful, yet Burdened

1:15 PM Posted by steve flores 3 comments
Memorial Day weekend, Nat and I visited her parents (a two hour drive to Fox, AR).  With everything going on—school, GRE exam, her work schedule, our lack of sleep—it was a much needed getaway.  Nat left early Saturday; I followed late Sunday.  We didn’t have a schedule, which for us is vacation enough!  We enjoyed our time in Fox—always do.

I don’t know if you’re like me, but no matter how much fun I have on a trip, I get anxious about home.  I like arriving home with enough time to put everything back where it goes and I anticipate sleeping in my own bed.  Factor in a gas stop and a toddler crying her head off, which caused Nat to pull over and check on her, it is no longer a two hour trip!  After Nat checked on Dassah, as Willie Nelson wrote, we were “on the road again”.  Then…we stopped, again. 

Approximately thirty cars ahead of us, we could see the lights of police cars, fire trucks, and EMS.  For those familiar with Highway 65 in Arkansas, we were just North of Greenbrier.  The highway wasn’t completely closed off, because cars were proceeding with caution around an apparent vehicular accident.  Then, it happened.  A fire truck parked, shutting off both the south bound and north bound lanes.  We weren’t going anywhere.

While Nat was in her vehicle ahead of me, I sat in mine searching the GPS for alternate routes.  The whole time I was searching, I was also praying and burdened for the people involved.  I couldn’t stop thinking about their families, their fear, and this unexpected event.  I found an alternate route and called Nat, but it looked incredibly out of the way.  We decided to wait it out.  Then, overhead, we heard a helicopter in the distance.  Med-flight had been contacted.  I looked at Nat’s driver’s side mirror as she mouthed, “This is not good,” referring to the accident, not the time.  I called Nat again and told her to follow me. 

Again, my heart became burdened for the people in the accident, whom I’ve never met.  I couldn’t have done anything, professionals were on site, but I didn’t feel less burdened.  I turned the radio off and prayed.  Suddenly, it hit me, “That could have been us!”  Any accident is tragic, but I couldn’t imagine witnessing it happen to the car my loved ones were in.  The accident must have happened about thirty minutes before we arrived.  I believe we were spared that accident, because of the inconveniences of a gas stop and Dassah crying her head off.  Although I was grateful for our safety, I was also burdened for those not so fortunate—such a paradox of feelings. 

Have you thought about inconveniences being in the will of God?  Have you ever thanked God for inconveniences, not just for the things that went the way you thought they would?   Are you grateful for mercy, yet burdened for those who have not received it?  It’s not a privilege.  It’s humbling. 

*Stay tuned…I’m going to post a difficult, gut-wrenching, perspective shift Nat and I made the beginning of this year.  It doesn’t make a circumstance like this any easier, but it puts trust and faith in God for our life.