It's not what I have[.] It's what I have to give. A blog about resources--gaining, giving, and sharing.

07 March 2012

Conflict – pt.3

12:01 AM Posted by steve flores , No comments
"If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.” (Matthew 18:15, NLT)

“…go privately and point out the offense.”
More than ever, this is an important lesson to follow, because of social media. Today, if someone makes us angry, then it makes it becomes a status update on Facebook or we turn it into a Tweet. If we are smart, we generalize the update or tweet, but, internally, we know who it is for. And, we vent to the world (wide web). In doing so, for Christ-followers, how have we not followed a command of Jesus? In venting to the world (wide web), wouldn’t that be publically pointing out an offense and not privately? Our first response should be to go to the person we have a conflict with. We do more damage to relationships when we talk to other people about our conflict first, rather than the person we have the conflict with.

Even our earnest attempt at following this passage can still create more conflict. Why? Because, underlying our approach is a little word called motive. If your motive is to prove a point, then the conflict may actually escalate, not deescalate. “…go privately and point out the offense,” doesn’t mean go to the person guns a’blazin’ and fingers a’pointin’. This passage is sandwiched between two beautiful stories that should illustrate the tenor of this passage (Matthew 18:12-14 and 21-35). Do not try to just get your point across. This is not the reason to go privately to the person you have a conflict with. Plus, you will not make any progress. What if Jesus requested us to go privately in order to save us from the shame of being wrong publically?
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And, my wife and I write a parenting blog. We would love for you to read what we are learning as we raise our daughter.; Twitter: @messyrearing