It's not what I have[.] It's what I have to give. A blog about resources--gaining, giving, and sharing.

31 December 2012

Reflection & Direction Guide

12:56 PM Posted by steve flores No comments
At the end of the year, I am certain there are many ways in which you are being encouraged to plan goals for next year. Here is another way to frame those goals, but also a way to reflect on last year, which is equally important. This is from a lesson I taught yesterday in a Sunday Connection class. Feel free to copy and paste into a document. I hope this helps. It is not exhaustive and you may have other areas to add. If you have more to add, please add them in the comments. 

Here is to hoping that I stay more consistent on this blog, but that probably will not happen. Follow my wife and I on our parenting journey – for new parents, old parents, and want to be parents –

Happy New Year’s Eve! 

Reflection & Direction
O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.
Psalm 63:1-8 (NIV)

List 3-5 individuals whom you feel open to discuss and could take honest criticism from.
At different places in the Reflection & Direction sections, place the name of an individual who could help you resolve a reflection and/or assist you on direction.


What were some successes or joys to be grateful for?

What did not work out, yet I wish had? What brought me pain or sorrow this year?
It is important to identify and address this emotion, because often we try to push this emotion back and never deal with it. Throughout the year, the unresolved and unaddressed emotion becomes an obstacle. Journal about it, cry about it, talk about it to one of those friends you listed…and possibly a counselor.

Am I satisfied in the areas below? If not, why?


What book(s) of the Bible will I read?
            The Plan:

What is one practical way to live out my faith?
            The Plan:

What is the one thing that I need to work on? (reading, exercise, diet, cleaning, hobby, attitude, etc)
            The Plan:

What is one way I can be a better friend?
            The Plan:

What do I need to incorporate to help me become a better husband, wife, son, or daughter?
The Plan:

What do I need to incorporate to help me become a better parent?
*Maybe following :)
            The Plan:

Which of the Twenty Habits (see below) do I need to stop? (could also be used in interpersonal relationships)
*I would only try to tackle one every 6 months.
            The Plan:

Twenty Habits (to stop)
1. Winning too much: The need to win at all costs and in all situations—when it matters, when it doesn’t, and when it’s totally beside the point.
2. Adding too much value: The overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion.
3. Passing judgment: The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
4. Making destructive comments: The needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.
5. Starting with “No,” “But,” or “However”: The overuse of these negative qualifiers which secretly say to everyone, “I’m right. You’re wrong.”
6. Telling the world how smart we are: The need to show people we’re smarter than we think we are.
7. Speaking when angry: Using emotional volatility as a management tool.
8. Negativity, or “Let me explain why that won’t work”: The need to share our negative thoughts even when we weren’t asked.
9. Withholding information: The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.
10. Failing to give proper recognition: The inability to praise and reward.
11. Claiming credit that we don’t deserve: The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.
12. Making excuses: The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it.
13. Clinging to the past: The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past; a subset of blaming everyone else.
14. Playing favorites: Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly.
15. Refusing to express regret: The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we’re wrong, or recognize how our actions affect others.
16. Not listening: The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.
17. Failing to express gratitude: The most basic form of bad manners.
18. Punishing the messenger: The misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help us.
19. Passing the buck: The need to blame everyone but ourselves.
20. An excessive need to be “me”: Exalting our faults as virtues simply because they’re who we are.
Excerpt from What Got You Here Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith